You know you work for EDS when...

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Humor
  1. Your boss gets a promotion and you get a coffee mug.
  2. You have more plaques on your cubicle wall than dollars in your bank account.
  3. The "open door policy" is another way you have of clearing up your misconceptions.
  4. Doing the wrong thing is better than not doing anything.
  5. Your spouse asks who you are when you come to the front door.
  6. You begin to enjoy reading technical manuals.
  7. You see a stranger in the hall and find out he's been your account manager for the past three months.
  8. A forty hour week was what you did before Thursday.
  9. A job well done is its own reward.
  10. Every meeting begins with the introduction of a new org chart.
  11. You find it difficult to say even one sentence without using an acronym.
  12. Your backup quits before you can transfer to a different group.
  13. You begin to like the color gray.
  14. Your best friend in another company buys a new VCR with overtime pay, while you get tickets to a play you don't want to see.
  15. You feel that you are indeed the company's best asset - to be signed away, moved as needed and purchased as cheaply as possible.
  16. Labor day means exactly that.
  17. You reach for the phone in the night instead of your spouse.
  18. You cringe when someone mentions the word "opportunity".
  19. "Pay for performance" means someone else gets paid for your performance.
  20. You quickly learn that shifting the blame is the most important business skill on the job.
  21. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you look good doing it.
  22. You call a technical support group for help and find out the most experienced person in the group has only been there four months.
  23. You think you'll scream if you here just one more Ross Perot joke.
  24. You never lack for challenges, even if its just trying to find a parking place in the mornings.
  25. Your regional manager energetically thanks you for your work, then asks you your name.
  26. Company benefits refers to the health newsletter you got last week telling you that you eat too much cholesterol.
  27. You begin to think that Michigan winters really aren't that bad.
  28. You wonder if god speaks with a Texan accent.
  29. Company loyalty means a three-year promissory note.
  30. The only answer you get to questions about salary administration are solemn looks and vague catch-all phrases.
  31. Creativity is encouraged as long as it's within pre-defined territory and it conforms to company standards.